Participant Workbook
Holding Your Ground, Keeping Your Peace
A 3-week live coaching series for women
Thursdays, November 12, 19 & December 3 | 7:00–8:00 pm ET | Zoom
Gina Michael Coaching
ginamichaelcoaching.com
The holidays are meant to be a season of joy and connection. But for so many women, they become a season of exhaustion, people-pleasing, and quiet resentment. If that sounds familiar, you are in exactly the right place.
Over the next three weeks, we’ll work together to help you understand your limits, communicate them with kindness and clarity, and hold steady when others push back. You don’t have to do this perfectly. You only have to be willing to try.
| Week | Date | Session |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Thursday, November 12 | Know Your Limits – awareness and priorities |
| 2 | Thursday, November 19 | Say It Clearly – words and scripts |
| 3 | Thursday, December 3 | Hold the Line – pushback and your holiday plan |
All sessions are live on Zoom from 7:00 to 8:00 pm ET. We’ll take Thanksgiving week off, so Week 3 is a chance to reflect on how Thanksgiving went and prepare for December.
| Together we agree | |
|---|---|
| What is shared here stays here. | Speak from your own experience. |
| No fixing or advice unless someone asks. | Cameras on or off is your choice. |
| Be gentle with yourself and each other. | Take what you need and leave the rest. |
Week 1 | Thursday, November 12
You can’t protect your peace until you know what’s draining it.
A boundary is a decision about what you will and won’t do with your time, energy, money, and space. Boundaries are about your own choices, not about controlling other people.
| A boundary IS… | A boundary is NOT… |
|---|---|
| A clear statement of what you will do | A demand that someone else change |
| An act of self-respect | Selfish or unkind |
| Something you can say with love | A punishment or an ultimatum |
| Flexible as your needs change | A wall to shut everyone out |
When I think about the holiday season ahead, I feel…
Why do the holidays feel heavy for me this year?
Growing up, the message I learned about saying “no” was…
List every holiday commitment, expectation, and “should” you can think of: events, travel, hosting, gifts, cooking, school activities, work parties, cards, and more. Then mark how each one makes you feel.
| Commitment or expectation | Who expects it? | Energizes me | Drains me | Obligated, not chosen |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Looking at my list, what surprises me most?
One thing I could let go of, hand off, or shorten this year is…
Resentment often shows up where a boundary is needed. Instead of pushing it down, get curious about what it’s telling you.
I feel resentful when…
The boundary this might be pointing to is…
Guilt is often a sign that you’re breaking an old pattern, not that you’re doing something wrong. Try answering guilt with the truth.
| Guilt says… | The truth says… |
|---|---|
| “I’m letting everyone down.” | “I’m being honest about what I can give.” |
| “A good mom (or daughter) does it all.” | “A good mom shows her kids what self-respect looks like.” |
| “They’ll be upset with me.” | “Their feelings are valid, and I can handle them.” |
| “It’s just one more thing.” | “One more thing adds up. My limits are real.” |
| “I’m being selfish.” | “Caring for myself helps me care for others.” |
| Write your own: |
The guilt I expect to feel this season, and what I’ll remind myself instead:
Choose the three boundaries that would make the biggest difference in how this holiday season feels. Start small and be specific. “Leave Grandma’s by 7:00” is easier to hold than “do less.”
Who does this involve?
Why this matters to me:
Who does this involve?
Why this matters to me:
Who does this involve?
Why this matters to me:
Week 2 | Thursday, November 19
Kind in tone, clear in content.
Most boundaries can be said in three simple steps. Keep it short. You don’t owe anyone a long explanation.
| Step | What it does | It sounds like |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Acknowledge | Show you understand their hope or feelings. | “I know you were hoping…” |
| 2. State | Say clearly what you will or won’t do. | “This year, we’ll…” |
| 3. Offer (optional) | Share what you can do instead. | “What I can do is…” |
Put it together
The reminder I need most, and why:
Use these word for word or make them your own. Circle the ones that fit your situation.
A script I need that isn’t here:
Pick one real situation coming up this season. Use the formula to write what you’ll say.
The situation:
Acknowledge:
State:
Offer (optional):
The situation:
Acknowledge:
State:
Offer (optional):
Practice for this week
Share one small boundary this week. Start with a lower-stakes person or situation if that feels easier.
I will share this boundary with:
Afterward: How did it go? How did I feel? What would I do differently?
Week 3 | Thursday, December 3
Pushback doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong. It means it’s new.
When you change a long-standing pattern, people may test it. That’s normal. Stay calm, stay kind, and stay consistent.
| Pushback | What it can sound like | How you can respond |
|---|---|---|
| Guilt-tripping | “After everything I’ve done for you…” | “I know this is disappointing. My answer is still the same.” |
| Bargaining | “Can’t you just stay one more night?” | “I hear you. We’ll be heading home Saturday.” |
| Minimizing | “You’re overreacting.” | “This matters to me.” |
| Tradition | “We’ve always done it this way.” | “I know. This year we’re doing it differently.” |
| Silent treatment | Cold shoulder, unreturned calls | Stay warm and consistent. You don’t need to chase or over-explain. |
The broken record
A boundary only works if you act on it. Decide ahead of time what you will do if a boundary is crossed. For example: “If the comments about my weight continue, I’ll take a walk outside.”
If you have a partner, boundaries are much easier to hold when you’re a team. Use these questions to talk it through together. A helpful rule of thumb: each partner communicates boundaries with their own side of the family.
Our top priorities for this holiday season are…
Our non-negotiables (what we’re protecting no matter what):
Who will talk with whom, and when?
Our signal when one of us needs a break or is ready to leave:
How we’ll support each other when someone pushes back:
Bring everything together. This is your plan for the season, so keep it somewhere you’ll see it.
My non-negotiables
What I’m saying no to
What I’m saying yes to
My rest and recovery commitments
Ideas: drive separately, set an end time in advance, plan a walk break, have a code word with your partner or a friend.
My support people (who I can call or text when it gets hard)
My boundary reminder for this season:
Take a moment to honor the work you’ve done these past three weeks. Choosing yourself is brave.
The biggest thing I learned about myself:
One boundary I’m proud of:
A note to myself to read in December:
Want more support?
The holiday season isn’t over yet, and neither is this work. If you’d like one-on-one support through December and into the new year, I’d love to talk with you. Book a free holiday check-in call at ginamichaelcoaching.com.
With warmth, Gina
If you are experiencing abuse or don’t feel safe at home, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 or by texting START to 88788. If you are in emotional distress or crisis, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. A licensed therapist can also be a wonderful source of support alongside coaching.