Have You Lost Yourself—or Have You Been Ignoring Yourself?

"I am not sure who I am anymore."

Women tell me this all the time. They say it quietly, almost apologetically, as if losing yourself is something that happened to them rather than something they learned to do to survive.

But here is what I want you to hear: you have not lost yourself.

You have not misplaced your identity like a set of keys. You have not forgotten who you are. She is still in there.

What happened is that you spent years — decades, maybe — learning to ignore her. You learned to tune out the voice that said 'I do not want to do this' or 'This does not feel right' or 'I need something different.'

You learned to ignore her because ignoring her kept the peace. It kept people happy. It kept you safe.

But peace that costs you your voice is not peace. It's performance.

The good news? You do not have to find yourself. You have to stop ignoring yourself.

Start small. What is one thing you have been pushing aside? One need you have been minimizing? One truth you have been sitting on?

That is where she is. That is where you are.